Tuesday, February 16, 2010

miscellany

The cold season is over, if it was even ever here. It never really got cold during the day, though nights and mornings and speedy bike rides were chilly for a little while. Everyone seems to agree that the cold never really came in full force this year.

And now the air feels different. And smells different. And I'm unsure about what to expect exactly, which reminds me that I'm a newbie here in this country still. And the sweat has arrived. As have the flies. The later is much more annoying than the former.

And cooking is losing its novelty a little. It steadily has been I guess. I really enjoy cooking actually, and I'm pretty good at making something out of nothing on those days when I haven't been into town in a while and don't want to wander over and eat with the cuisinaire girls. ...but it really does take a chunk of time, especially when you consider that in order to do it you must end the activity you are engaged in to go back home before leaving your home again. It really breaks up the day, this cooking for yourself all the time stuff. Losing my motivation to cook has caused my motivation to eat to diminish a little. I love delicious food, yum yum yum...but eh. Making it? And then eating it? And then cleaning up after the preparation, creation, and ingestion? Sometimes that's a hefty task to consider.

Really I'm just procrastinating. It's been 7 hours since I made and ate and cleaned up after my last meal. I should go and do it again. The wonders of having a laptop here, stream of conscious-ing my way through this blog business. Much better than the pressured, at the internet cafe style entries. Sort of.

If anyone has anything in particular that they'd like to read about, please feel free to comment or email and let me know. I'm going to go and see what there is to put in my belly.

Oh and hey, did you all know that my parents are going to be here in Burkina Faso visiting me in fourteen weeks? I literally don't know what I'll do in my head with all of my free time after their visit comes and goes, I spend so much time thinking about how great it's going to be!

The Peace Corps Story

This is it as we're told it, we in the precious Peace Corps sectors where structure is something that's been left behind with our favorite hooded sweatshirts (of the excessively pricey, justified-by-graduating brown and blue Mount Holyoke variety in my case). Where really all we needed to hear during training was “you're a Girls' Education and Empowerment volunteer...nnnnow go.”

You're putzing along, chatting with neighbors and engaging in small activities in your community for months. Many of them. A year goes by. Your feelings of insecurity about your place in the community have never quite gone away. Maybe you've grown exasperated from all of the waiting around and have tried initiating something completely on your own (better something than nothing you think, even if it isn't completely community driven, completely hands-off on your part, or completely sustainable). Said something that you have tried initiating turned out to be a huge failure (people assured you they'd show up and didn't, no one indicated how drastically availability would change with the changing seasons, local politics froze any and all progress, etc) when out of the blue something hits you! An opportunity! A motivated community member who has identified an issue and wants a solution! After months and months and months of hanging out, literally just sitting around with people, it just came up in a random conversation. ...and suddenly you have a project staring you in the face! AND EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE AND LIFE IS GOOD.

So yes, that's what's supposed to happen as far as we've been told. Don't worry about it, nothing really gets done during your first year. It's not until the end of your second year that projects really take off, things really start to come together. This is advice steeped in certainty, and advice I internalized pretty quickly. But...how much of a self fulfilling prophecy is this? Where's the line between letting things happen as they happen and not doing anything? And while at the end of the day if pressed I will always end up admitting that I think I'm doing a good job of laying groundwork and such, I sometimes wonder if I've taken that advice in too easily. It's a complex layering of stress, as those who know me well might not be too surprised to hear. We are reassured so much not to worry not to worry, that it is obviously implied that we are expected to be worrying...and I worry when I realize that I'm not worried. I should be worried. Right? Maybe that's part of the process, being worried. And then I GET worried, and then it's just all a ridiculous mental mess that takes me a little while to slosh through. Like a field full of slushy, icy mounds of snow. Which is just about as far from being around me as possible.

I'm a pretty strong individualist (American) and I have always been able to do things and do them well. ...and though I've been known to race a deadline or two I am confident in my ability to self motivate and get things done. And I like having freedom from a strict teaching schedule and harsh standardized test requirements. I do. But on more than one occasion I have been tempted to lift my head to the heavens and scream “OK! JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Give me ONE thing, make ONE choice clear for me and I'll go for it!”

Because often when I think think think about the way things are going (progressing) I feel myself tugging myself back towards square one of life here. And I wonder if I'm strengthening connections with the right groups of people. If there are organizations in town I should be more acquainted with. If I should try to socialize with influential people more. Am I spending too much time on my campus? Am I spending too much time in town? Three kilometers is a pain in the rear distance to live from the center of your town, you know? And that's a deceptive distance anyhow, because all of the organizations, educational offices, NGOs, governmental buildings are PAST the town center.

But none of this is new information about Molly and her experience here. So I'll leave it be, and maybe write a lil' somethin' else.

Friday, February 5, 2010

happy viewing

Look at all these posts! I'm about to head back home but seeing as how the novelty of the garre has officially worn off, I am prolonging my taxi ride over for as long as possible.

My friend Aime. He helps me learn Moore. I think he thinks I just understand everything he says to me all of the time. I like to try to make that true.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

eye candy again


Took a bunch of photos lately, thought I'd share a couple...no real rhyme or reason to any of them.

Below you will a find a view of my house (complete with straw-type hangar) as taken from next to the smelly pig house where about a million little grunting piggies live down wind of my open windows.

And here we have me sitting in my chair watching the pretty sunset just outside of my home.



Ok, so this is kind of funny. Pretty much the day after having one of a couple of Sontag-inspired debates with a Peace Corps neighbor friend of mine about the merits of photography and photographic representation and how I'm just not entirely comfortable whipping my camera out all of the time at this stage in my life here, I walk out of the school building at the end of the day to find the fields on fire. Which was wild, and I really wanted to take pictures. So I did. The girls had been sent out to burn down the tall dry grasses in order to scare off the invading population of snakes...which I have not seen and am hoping now will not have to.



Umm...more later maybe! It's late and I'm tired.

fam thoughts blog thingy 29th of January

Looking at Christmastime photos my fam sent me in a care package, my family is so goofy and funny! I'm just sitting here click click clicking through them and laughing and smiling and loving. There are about ten Christmas Eve pictures of my mom and aunts in a row, looking off in different directions and smiling various degrees of smiles, eyes closed various degrees of shut, and I am cracking up, I can feel myself there for that photo shoot that has unwittingly become a Christmas tradition. Sixty shots of the three of them all in a row trying to eventually end up with something that they’ll deem passable. They all look beautiful to me!

There's my cutie little grown up baby cousins and the newest baby in the family, a product of my ACTUAL grown up cousin (whose hair and new house are both looking fabulous these days). Photos of family members caught laughing their heads off while holding the baby or eating whipped cream out of the bottle (you know who you are!), and a couple of the inevitable "take a picture of me taking a picture of you," which is par for the course when you give a kid a camera. And by kid I mean Al. :) ...and I didn't realize that dust busters are still around, but I'm glad someone got one for Pam! And Christmas day photos of my aunts and the little puppy that is decked out in a fancy little Santa outfit, and the beautifully decorated table and tree. Chairs and sweaters and sitting and eating and family and it's so funny how we all get stuck together like this!

I have a nice family over there in America.

....


Just finished writing this up when I got the news that one of my GEE family members has to go home to the states for good. Not an easy choice, not an easy situation. What a ray of sunshine we’ll miss in Burkina. We’re such a good group, us GEEs. I think Charlie put it best in his blog…I don’t know if every becomes as bonded as we have, but we certainly have. This isn't an easy thing to process. Devin baby the world's a better place because you're in it, no matter where in it you are! Love you girl.

a lil somethin from the 28th of Jan...

I had an un-bloggably good weekend in Ouahigouya this past weekend, full of delicious food, delicious company and delicious travel adventures. It was really nice. Sometimes things happen that remind me that I love being a Peace Corps volunteer in Burkina Faso, and sometimes things happen that remind me that I simply love being in Burkina Faso. This weekend was the opportunity for the latter.

Being a GEE volunteer here is a wild job, kind of like summer camp in that I’m always ON, even when I’m not really doing anything that to the outside observer might look like work. I wander around my campus and I’m on, I visit a friend’s village and I’m on, I go into Kongoussi and I’m on, I sleep in and I’m on, I do my laundry and I’m on. It’s tiring sometimes, when you stop to think about it.

So being in Ouahigouya was nice. I could causer (cooooooozaayyyyyyy) with people and speak Moore and stuff, but I could also ignore people and laugh really loudly and buy sachets of gin and go out for dinner and bike bike bike and not feel like I needed to be a Peace Corps Volunteer all of the time. I could be Molly. I was just chillin’, travelling a little bit and enjoying a weekend in a familiar town. Getting lifts from nice people, voyaging under the stars…I love when coming back to Kongoussi feels so good.

I talk a lot about being “on” while doing work that doesn’t look like work, but I actually do have a few different things that I do around here. Not everything is a sustainable project in terms of the stuff we were told we might be doing during training (…what? You mean Peace Corps life might bear little to no resemblance to the things you’re told during stage?), but it’s helpful and I really have no interest in starting clubs or projects that aren’t asked of me and that I am not completely into because I know that’ll make life sucky and stressful. So I will describe some of the things I do, to give you an idea of how I spend some of my time (and also to validate myself…but anyhow).

There are 4 grade levels at my school and each grade (classe) has a test (devoir) in some subject every Monday and Friday. End of trimester grades (moyens) are calculated solely by the marks received on devoirs. For most secondary schools, students maybe have one or two devoirs in each class for the trimester, period. PRESSURE! My school’s ridiculously huge amount comes from the fact that it’s a high-functioning private school with a well organized director and good teachers. So the teachers write up their devoirs a week to a few days ahead of when they’re going to be given and I type them all up and get them spell checked and make corrections and then photocopy them and organize them for dispersal. Pretty secretary-like. I also proctor (surveiller) two devoirs on Monday and two on Friday. So that’s maybe 3 to 5 hours of typing work per week plus 6 to 8 hours of sitting in a classroom and reading a book while making sure that the veritable angels who go to this school don’t cheat on their tests, which really they never do. Either that or they’re really, really good at it.

I also go to the English Club in Kongoussi on Saturdays for two hours to play the role of Native Speaker, which is cool, especially since it’s not my club and the two teachers who run it are fluent in English as well as French and are thus completely better suited than me to lead the thing. I think I’m going to start dividing my Saturdays between English Club and computer lessons that my computer-teaching counterpart (informatique) holds for the teachers at my school. I’ve been avoiding the informatique classroom like the friggin plague since I was in mortal danger of being confused as an computer teacher when placed at Ste B’s (apparently due to my “IT background”, but that is a whole separate tangential subject matter that is pretty well situated in the past at this point). However, it might be a cool way for me to spend time with some of the teachers here (so hard to do with most since they come in for their classes and leave right after to go teach others at different schools) as well as with my smart friendly and motivated official counterpart. I’m going to ask him if I can join. They’re starting Excel this weekend. ‘Bout time I learned how the heck that program works.

The girls have 2 hours study time every night except Saturday, so I head over whenever I can…or want to…really I need to start being more regular about this…to hang out and chat (distracting?) or help them with English or math (plus do high school level math myself, which rocks my world) or if they’re all busy and in no need of me I read a book in French or chat with the two guys from Lioudougou who help out during study hours as well.
* edit 2/2/01: last night I promised the 4eme students that if every one of them spoke in English on the debate topic they were “discussing” I would stand on the table and sing and dance for them. Looks like they’ll have to try harder next time…!

I try to hang out with my nun friend here, who is one of my favorite women in the world really, as much as I can. I like to accompany her on her errands and trips when the opportunity arises so we can chat and stuff and I can pry my way into helping her with the big funding stuff she does for the school. I do little things for her whenever opportunities arise, from helping her design a brochure for the school to taking photos of the classrooms to helping her send emails to getting her mail for her at the post office…lots of little errands. Very personal assistant-ish. There’s another term for it as well, which I am tempted to use in the kindest and least self-deprecating sense of the word…but kids read this stuff.

Hmm…so we’ve got Devoir Master, English Club Goer, Study Hour Crasher and Sister Elisabeth’s…Enthusiastic-Menial-Task-Assistant. “EM-TA”…ha! So far nothing I’ve designed and implemented myself but ça va aller. I’m starting out by helping out.

I have done some other little things already so far. I teamed up with a PCV neighbor of mine to run a three-day girls camp for the 10 secondary school girls in her village where we talked about health and decision making and puberty and AIDS. It was a smashingly ridiculous and wild success because we did it the right way…she’s been in her village for 2 years and knows the place and the girls really well, we combined our interests and personalities to present subject matter that we were comfortable with that related to what the girls wanted to learn about and do, and we took it day by day. We should get medals for how great it went and how great we were, to be perfectly modest.

I also got two of the cook girls (cuisinares) at Ste B’s who had been out of school for a year or two, who work here because they are various degrees of orphaned and didn’t want to be forced into early marriage, officially enrolled for this year. It didn’t take any eye opening social education (sensibilisation) on my part because they are under the care of the nuns who run the school here who CLEARLY are down with GEE (yeah you know me), but it did take talking to them a whole lot, finding out that they wanted to go to school, talking with my nun friend about it, and going to the schools in town to argue a place for them even though the school year had already started. One of the girls, Denise, is doing great. She’s in this really crappy night school program where each class meets once a week maybe if the professor feels like showing up, and she’s been out of school for two years working (or “rien”—nothing—if you ask her what it is she’s been doing) but she’s kicking its butt. –edit: she just came into my little secretariat office to grab something for one of the nuns and told me excitedly that she’s getting two of her devoirs back next week and she knows that she did a good job and she’ll bring them to me so that I can see them and she has another devoir at the end of February and she’s studying for it already and my goodness I’m so glad this girl is in school.

Kids who can make it through the entirety of the Burkina Faso public school system can probably persevere through just about anything in the world.

I’ve got a few “am going tos” on my agenda at the moment, though in true Burkinabè fashion they aren’t exactly being rushed into, for various reasons both in and out of my control. Maybe I’ll update on those another time. And you know, really the most important part of being here, in my view, is wanting to live here, wanting to go out and spend time with people. Maybe in some ways its better to not have a job or clubs, to just be hanging out and enjoying life and convincing people that I want to live with them, that I’m not anxious to go back to the States…I want to live in this country that’s hot and hard and poor, that I enjoy living in for numerous reasons. I’m not here to change the country, to change the world…just to do the little things that I can do to help out, to make people laugh and smile and feel comfortable in their lives…like I would want to be doing anywhere else. I just get to live in Burkina Faso while doing it.